Bread Loser
A Therapist's Take on the Silent Stigma.
It’s been a tough half decade. The implications of COVID, lockdowns and restrictions have left a significant number of men reporting feelings of depression and anxiety, as well as worries about food insecurity and household finances.[1]
Canadian statistics[2] are alarming:
Men account for more than 75% of suicides in Canada (that’s an average of 50 men per week dying by suicide)
Men are 3x more likely to experience addiction and substance abuse as a way of coping (compared to women)
Men accounted for 81% of drug overdose deaths in BC in 2020
63% of men aged 18-34 years old experience considerable feelings of loneliness and isolation
Women are 3x more likely to seek mental health services and support than men
If you are feeling overwhelmed – you are not alone.
I can attest to this. I had been working towards a career transition for over 10 years. It was supposed to culminate in 2020, yet it was interrupted at the final hurdle. I lost my job in the corporate sector. My studies suspended for nearly a year. Just two months later we welcomed our second child.
The stark contrast of these events was almost unbearable. To top it off, my wife had to return to work earlier than we had hoped, as we just weren’t making enough money to support our small growing family.
I felt like a failure. Not only was my role as a breadwinner completely compromised, but my path to becoming that breadwinner, was blocked and delayed. I felt like the rug was pulled out from under my feet – and it left me in a state of depression, anger and hopelessness. Sadly, those closest to me felt the burden of this reality.
Large interruptions in our lives can shake us to the core. Perhaps you faced job loss in the past few years. Maybe another type of loss: missed opportunity, relational strain, health issues. As men, the weight of responsibility runs deep. It has never been greater.
Despite all this, men don’t ask for help. We tend to downplay our mental health. We often associate seeking help for mental or emotional issues with shame or weakness.[3] The “silent suffering” of men demands that the stigma of mental health needs to change.[4]
Vulnerability is not weakness. It’s strength.
It’s the method by which we become better husbands, fathers and men. Without honesty we cannot become better versions of ourselves. Honesty about our challenges, our limits and discrepancies. This doesn’t mean that we should display our shortcomings, but it does require us to get real with ourselves.
So why not speak to someone?
Someone who may have gone through a similar situation to you. Who understands the pressures that you face. Someone who is trained to help you make sense of all the noise or help you to see a way forward.
Life can be tough – and it’s even tougher when we try to do it alone.
Don’t be silent in your suffering, be loud to those who have been trained to help you.
At The Stigman Group, we don’t just talk about what’s wrong—we help men build what’s right. If you’re a man who’s been misunderstood, misrepresented, or just stuck… there’s a better way. Let’s find it together.
[1] Gottert A, Shattuck D, Pulerwitz J, et al Meeting men’s mental health needs during COVID-19 and beyond: a global health imperative BMJ Global Health 2022;7: e008297.
[2] https://www.cbc.ca/news/opinion/opinion-men-mental-health-1.5871935
[3] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-health-nerd/201911/men-are-afraid-ask-help
[4] https://www.canada.ca/en/department-national-defence/maple-leaf/defence/2021/11/men-mental-health-conversations-combat-stigma.html
