Soft vs Safe

Blame or Blasphemy

A Therapist’s View on Male Examples.

Two-tier Keir has appeared to bumble his way through two years of office, placating narratives when cold hard truths have come to light. A title he has unsuccessfully attempted to shrug off, due to the numerous examples of policing which reflect the opposite.

To some degree I understand the game that must be navigated, balancing peer, press and the public’s opinion to protect your stock. To be fair at a time where I don't care to, we all do this. The crime just seems a lot grander, when the spotlight is on you. Trump is a low-hanging fruit example, all the blame, little recognition of good and absolutely no space to own up to the sins we have shared.

Beyond scapegoats and a lack of confession, another recent leader of sorts - Justin Trudeau. Hockey handsome without the bravery of acquiring the look through rigorous competition. Swooned illiberal leftist working women en masse, like a ‘90s RnB group carrying father wounds and an unhealthy attachment to their mothers. The feminine man-child.

Justin appears to have focussed on outliving his adolescence with a popstar in his 50s post politics. Rather than the more important duty of parenthood. The public cry that everyone deserves to be happy, says who? Happiness is relative and those of us that have dealt with our childhood trauma, would be mad to support our parents’ fleeting happiness over the time it has taken to heal.

Now while I prefer to focus on his professional acumen during public office, you must compare apples to apples when trying to defame the more fiscally successful American equivalent. In any case, acumen or otherwise, it appeared that Justin spent more time at the front of parades than helping the average Canadian. His acumen panned out to be more genetic and shrewd than competent.

Mark Carney who employed us to rally together against our southern bully. A meagre elbows-up mantra that paled in comparison to the horde of maple leaf flags during the trucker convoy. The result of this grandstanding gesture? The only country in the G7 that is flirting with recession. In an ironic turn of events, Ukraine is not.

I haven't yet seen Carney lace up a pair of gloves, but the footage of Trudeau and Keir has been deeply underwhelming. I think we need to be more careful who we choose to fight for us, assuming they can fight at all. We can question the theatre and legitimacy of a president emerging from gunfire with resolve, yet the alternatives haven't given me any indication that they wouldn’t fold.

Hunchbacks aside, the Canadian national team has done well to distract us and somehow rally our spirits during the recent World Cup. As someone who considers football to be part of my identity, it’s an event that generally brings people together. Not without nefarious opportunity for bad, entertainment that should be enjoyed, be it an expensive one.

We observed a shallow speech for meagre effort despite great Canadian support, most remained deluded and distracted. Especially at the price of a ticket, not to mention our tax dollars fronting the event. Whilst Carney coincidentally states that our tax dollars will be used to bail out real estate developers for unsold units that we have been priced out of. The irony.

More recently, negotiations with our biggest trade partner collapsed. Now we incur tariffs that effectively bite the hand that feeds us. The current government has taken 10 years to tank the middle class; can we afford more strife as the politicians invest on our behalf?

Who do we look to, the good hearted, but accidentally successful? I’m not sure that’s very realistic. It appears to me that success begets great intention. The good hearted are often overlooked or used. The present boomer generation are beholders of the greatest wealth transfer for centuries. Are they transferring it, or hoarding it all for themselves?

Are we that willing to gamble on our own safety, the safety of our wife and kids on happenstance? Many have seen the videos where some possessed lunatic goes after children with a knife, how many people just stand and watch. Bystander effect or otherwise, we must improve.

To be fair, where has safe gone? Are there any volunteers who want to roll the dice in Europe. Get caught helping someone, wearing an unfavoured flag or piece of clothing. Most victims are not paying attention, which in my experience is most people. When the rubber hits the road, people tend to slip backward into the hedge, a la Homer Simpson. Weightless voices, even lighter words.

Furthermore, if many of the loudest voices are aligning physical harm on par with emotional harm, then why aren’t more people outraged at emotional or spiritually traumatic events. The number of supporters of unhealthy and unbiblical practices is evidence that this comparison cannot stand. Unless you deny the logic of reason altogether.

So again, who are our public guardians to keep the peace? Are we happy to rely on keyboard warriors to look out for us, raise the issues that are future-focused and legacy-based. The current ideology in power does not give me hope. The solution hasn’t changed; we have been fed a new solution that still hasn’t worked. It’s a net-negative for the average person, all things considered and it’s getting worse.

I appreciate my shooting from the hip assessment of our recent leaders is by no means comprehensive. I may give more candour and time in the unlikelihood that I could sit in the same seat. Yet, I consider myself astute in character assessment, even from a distance. I would give more grace likely but not deviate far from my conclusion. Not as a scapegoat for my present challenges, as most do Trump. More from the specific impact they have had on our people and the example they have set.

Now while I indulge in a more holistic picture of my final political example, it’s another easy target given the theme. Not without controversy, not without error, yet the greatest Briton of the 20th century - Churchill. An absolute titan of a man. A man who appeared abrasive more than safe, yet created safety for millions of people, for decades. A generational legacy of conviction, courage and fortitude.

He endured the pressure and weight of standing in the gap for the future of his country and the Western world at the time. There wasn’t much space for uncertainty. For doubt, for soft. That would have cost a lot of lives and society worse. He was formidable rather than gentle, that’s what the moment required. Unrelenting? Absolutely. Who could replace him in that moment with others of a similar role?

He was resolute in his conviction; he did not bow to governmental pressure at the time. Appeasement was politically easier, but he was the opposite of a populist. This most likely contributed to his tenure post-war. The temperature post peace required more humility and less of what had turned the tide of the war. He clearly wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but that cup saved a lot of lives and made a lot of people look good for a season. Even if his missteps and failures undermine his accomplishments, few amongst us have accomplished so much.

What do we take from all these examples? All human, all littered with mistakes, failures, and immoral choices. Grave consequences and historical damage, many lives lost. The cost and weight of a political career. No small feat, as we observe from the bleachers. There is no question that we can learn and in many ways act or perform differently.

I think society has balked at the discomfort of decisiveness, as it has sometimes resulted in the wrong decision. Society has lacked conviction and softened as a result. An environment where evil is more evasive, nor checked as readily. Apathy casts no balance and a subconscious decline into dysfunction occurs.

Now we have adults throwing adolescent tantrums at the whiff of foul play, without opening a book or looking in a mirror. A statue does not deserve to be defiled, by those who neither understand the price that was paid, nor the privilege which they fail to appreciate.

That is soft, not safe.

Safe is conviction, courage and fortitude. It is also a posture of teachability and humility. The readiness to be assertive physically or verbally intervene, to stand in the gap for others. Even those we disagree with or dislike.

Masculine strength has of course been used for great bad, but its greatest expression and impact is found when used for great good. Through Churchill we observe that conviction without humility won’t last long. Humility without conviction presents as impotence. Men need a healthy balance of both, and we should never give in.

"Never give in—never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."

(From Churchill's 1941 speech at Harrow School.)